When it all falls apart

*Divorce rates are very high- 40%
* What about the other 60%? Are they struggling?

1. We might not have a good marriage prospect

2. We are brought up in different culture on how we handle conflict or even to decide who takes out the trash

*When financial problems and kid pressures come up, we might wish to break up

*Malachi 2:16: “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect," says the LORD Almighty. 
   So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

*Sounds like a legalistic God making life tough for us
*But we know there is a gracious loving God out there
*When we are married, a woman is regarded a possession of men. Thus, when men ask for a divorce, the only way they can support themselves is by prostitution

*Deuteronomy 24:1: If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house
 (could not just throw a wife out, it has to be something indecent or with a certificate of divorce (a legal process)

2 interpreters of the law
*Shammai (conservative)
*Hillel (liberal) - Jesus was more on the liberal side as well
but when divorce is touched upon,
*S (divorce if one commits adultery)
*H (divorce if one is annoyed)
What was Jesus's opinion?

*Matthew 19:1--8: When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. ² Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
 ³ Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
   ⁴ “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’⁵ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
 ⁷ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
 ⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
 
*God designed marriage as a commitment of life and ability to work through problems as well as for secureness
*Kids are secure as they know their parents are committed to each other
*Paul said about marriage and ending a marriage

*1 Corinthians 7:10: To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.

*One becomes a Christian and another does not like the thought of Christianity

*1 Corinthians 7:15-16: But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. ¹⁶ How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

*It's alright if they leave because your not bound to that
*God never wants divorce but sometimes its better to let go when one side is suffering (child abuse, psychological/physical abuse)

What are the implications if we get married?

1. For the married

*Most marriages will think about divorce at some stage because marriages do go through tough times

*It's normal. There are many threats to marriage
*Attraction is not a wrong thing. It's pursuing the attraction that is wrong

*Sometimes we do it alone or tell others about marriage problems whereas God wants to reach our and be involve as well

*We need to let it out to friends all our problems
*Need to sort any problems before thinking about kids
*There is a misconception that having kids will bring marriage couples together

2. For the separated or divorce

*If the other person is having a problem (like addiction to porn), try to help out
*If the person is you, fix the problem (hopefully it is not too late)
*Often, we do not know story on both sides so we as a community need to be careful in judging

3. For the unmarried

*Lifetime is a long time to be married
*Don't want to rush in because ending a marriage is painful
*On the other hand, there is no ideal/right person to marry

*God gives us love to address commitment to each other

*People in India have arrange marriages compared to us where we married with love

*Love can work things out

*Nobody can fulfill ALL our needs

*The question is: Am i prepared to live with this person for the rest of my life? (with God's help)


**Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path**